04.26.07
John Kelso On Voter IDiocy
This is hilarious, Along with driver’s license, voters should have to show ‘right stuff’.
The Republicans say the purpose of this bill is to tackle voter fraud, but by whom?
Mexican nationals?
Yeah, sure, buddy.
Have you ever seen a pickup truck pull up to the polls on election day, and 20 undocumented workers jump out of the back and form a line?
Besides, at this point, I’m thinking voter fraud might be an improvement.
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But let’s just say for argument purposes that the Republicans really are trying to keep the wrong element from voting, like maybe poor people who allegedly vote Democrat.
If that’s the case, they should tweak Brown’s bill and require voters to show up at the polls with:
•A new set of expensive golf clubs (with receipt for proof) and a box of Maxfli balls.
•A color photograph of the voter enjoying a cocktail in the West Austin News.
•The keys to the voter’s Lamborghini
•An autographed photo of Tom DeLay stuffing money in his pants.
•Several major credit cards and a stock portfolio from an offshore bank.
•The voter’s riding mower, and a photograph of his circular driveway.
•The password to get into the voter’s gated community.
•A case of Beluga.
•The voter’s membership card to the Austin Club, along with his favorite waiter.
•A bird gun just like the one Dick Cheney used.
•A receipt from the voter’s maid service, and a photo of his yacht.
•Some kind of indication that the voter doesn’t care about global warming, like saying, “So what? I hear tell polar bears can doggie paddle.”